I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
thus making me awesome and them whores
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
