I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
