So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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