lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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