So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
jump out the window naked night went bad
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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