Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
