Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize