It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We were destined to go to rehab together
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize