went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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