I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
