Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
