rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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