My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
