he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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