Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
