Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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