Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's never too late to be topless.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize