So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
