okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
