if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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