Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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