He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
