come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
