Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
