Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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