Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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