trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
