This girl is more easily done than said...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
