How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Randomize
