he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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