Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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