Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
