singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize