there was a trapeze. enough said
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
