he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's never too late to be topless.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
