we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
3pm strippers are depressing
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
