Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize