i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
