You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
