He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
