In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just had sex on a roof
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
