You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
