So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
