Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
