It's like a parade of train wrecks.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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