Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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