The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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