I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm always down for nudity.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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