Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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