I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
