They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
