Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
