it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
