YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
