White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
