I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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