ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
