i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
