I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
